The Lady’s Brunch Burger

The grossest thing I ever put in my mouth

I have been dreading this day.   I knew it had to happen, I tried to put it off, but at one point, I had to veganize the brunch burger.

This bacon and egg burger involves not one, but two donuts to serve as the bun.  I mean seriously, how ladylike is it to try to eat a 5 inch tall sandwich?

I managed to take two bites, then I wrapped it up and put it in the fridge.  After a few glasses of wine, then a few pints of beer, I drunkenly attempted to eat it again, thinking perhaps the addition of ketchup would help.  It didn’t.   It made me feel so disgusting that I was tempted to sit in the shower, gently rocking myself as I sobbed hysterically.

In all fairness I will say that I used Voodoo donuts, and they have a banana flavor, which despite it’s gloriousness in the cheezy ham tube and banana casserole that inspired this blog to begin with, didn’t really work with the burger.

(I Can’t Think of a Funny Antonym for Lady) Brunch Burger

• One Vegan Burger Patty
• 2-3 slices tempeh bacon
• 2 donuts
• 1 tofu egg (recipe follows)

1. Heat burger and tempeh.
2. Put the burger, tempeh bacon and the tofu egg on top of a donut.
3. Put another donut on top.

Tofu Egg

• One 14 ounce container firm tofu
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp turmeric
• 1/4 tsp garlic powder
• 1/4 tsp onion powder

1. Slice tofu into 4 slabs so that you have 2×4 inch slices.
2. Cut tofu slices with a drinking glass or a biscuit cutter into circles.
3. Mix remaining ingredients together and marinate tofu for 30 minutes, flipping once.
4. Remove from marinade, unless kitchen fires are your thing.
5. Bake in 400 degree oven for 20 minutes, turning once.

Nutritional Info

Paula

• Calories: 1135
• Fat: 73 gm
• Saturated Fat: 26 gm

Me

• Calories: 685
• Fat: 30 gm
• Saturated Fat: 5 gm