Grilled Apple, Bacon, and Cheddar Sandwich with Roasted Onion Mayo

OK, So It's Not the Prettiest Looking Meal

Not much of an intro needed here. The “Lady” decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich with a bunch of crap on it. I veganized it. If you scroll down to the nutrition info, you will see that one of her sandwiches has almost 1000 calories and all the fat you need for a whole day. Way to go Paula!

My ex-boyfriend would like me to mention that that this recipe is “near the top” of all things I have cooked for him. I am not quite sure how I feel about that, but it is really tasty.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/grilled-apple-bacon-and-cheddar-sandwich-with-roasted-red-onion-mayo-recipe/index.html

I do have two points of interest regarding this concoction.

One: I used the recipe for gooey grilled cheese from the Ultimate Uncheese Cookbook. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1570671516. My understanding is that the author does not take kindly to people posting her recipes, so I will not. I will say that the recipe is awesome and worth the cost of the book alone. If this is not agreeable to you, it is available on google books.

Two: Vegenaise is the best tasting vegan mayo. Grapeseed is the best flavor. Although lower in fat than typical mayo, I still feel like it is a bit high. Trader Joe’s reduced fat mayo is vegan, even though they don’t make a big deal about letting you know that on the jar. It is much lower in fat, but it doesn’t taste as good as Vegenaise. I combined the two 50:50 in my mayo so that I could have the best of both worlds.

Grilled Apple, Tempeh, and Uncheese Sandwich with Roasted Red Onion Mayo

Recipe is for one Sandwich:

• 2 slices sourdough bread or other hearty bread
• 4 slices tempeh bacon (recipe follows)
• 1/4 cup gooey grilled uncheese mix, can use commercial cheese, but it won’t be as tasty
• 1/4 of a granny smith apple, cored and thinly sliced
• 1 TBS Red onion mayo (recipe follows)

1. Preheat cast iron pan or griddle over medium heat.
2. Assemble sandwich by spreading one slice of bread with the uncheese, top with the apples, then the tempeh, then spread the other slice with the mayo.
3. Spread thin layer of Earth Balance on the outside of both slices of bread and grill for about 3 minutes on each side.
4. Cut on the diagonal and enjoy!

Tempeh Bacon

This is based on the tempeh bacon from Vegan with a Vengeance, but altered to accommodate what I had on hand

• 12 ounces tempeh, I used Surata http://www.suratasoy.com/
• 1 TBS apple cider vinegar
• 3 TBS orange juice
• 1 tsp adobo sauce from a can of chipotles
• 1 tsp tomato paste
• 1/4 tsp liquid smoke
• 2 large cloves garlic, crushed
• 4TBS soy sauce
• 1 tsp maple syrup

1. Slice the tempeh into very thin long strips.
2. Combine remaing ingredients.
3. Marinate the tempeh all day. I like to do this in a bog ziplock, with the air squeezed out.
4. When ready to prepare sandwiches, fry strips in small amount of vegetable oil until golden brown and crispy.

Roasted Red Onion Mayo

• 1 medium red onion, chopped
• 2 tsp olive oil
• 1 cup vegan mayonnaise

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

1. On a rimmed baking sheet, toss onion with oil, and a pinch of salt and pepper.
2. Roast for 25-30 minutes, stirring occaisionally.
3. Once onions has cooled, combine with mayo in blender or food processor until smooth.

Nutrition Info

Paula’s Version

• Calories: 994
• Fat: 60 gm
• Saturated Fat: 29 gm
• Cholesterol: 157 milligrams

My Version

• Calories: 560
• Fat: 15 grams
• Saturated Fat: 1gram
• Cholesterol: 0 milligrams

Mama’s Fried Creamed Corn

Corn and Bacon, Together at Last

After the casserole from a few days ago, I had some leftover Smart Bacon lurking in my fridge. The bacon just sat there, looking at me as if to say: so now what?

Luckily, Pandacookie had already done the thinking for me and suggested I attempt the fried creamed corn. Not wanting to dissapoint, and since corn is in season and an actual vegetable, well almost a vegetable, I decided to go for it.

But first I had to muster the strength to pry myself off of the couch, no easy task when you have been eating leftover cheezy hamtube and banana casserole for 3 days straight.

So you may be asking, what is fried creamed corn? Answer: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/mamas-fried-cream-corn-recipe/index.html

For those who do not want to follow the link, it is corn that is fried in a mixture of rendered bacon fat and butter. I would never subject poor corn to such a humiliating demise.

I went for a half batch, since I am only cooking for two, and it ended up being enough for 4.  The original recipe needed some help. First of all 12 ears of corn does not serve 4 people, it serves many many more than that. Second of all, I wouldn’t call this recipe “fried” there isn’t a high enough fat:corn ratio.

You Ain’t My Mama Fried Creamed Corn

• 6 ears corn
• 6 slices Smart Bacon (or other equivalent)
• 1/8 cup Earth Balance (EB), plus 1 TBS for bacon “rendering”
• A few drops of liquid smoke
• 1/2 cup unsweetened soy milk

1. Remove the corn from the cob, I find this is most easily accomplished by holding the cob at a 45 degree angle and running a chef’s knife down the cob in a gentle sawing motion. Make sure you scrape it to get the starchy liquid!
2. Slice your bacon into large-ish chunks. I found the Smart bacon to be difficult to separate out into individual slices, so I just left them in the stack that they came in, and cross cut them into 1/2 inch slices. The stacked slices separated easily once they were in the skillet.
3. Cook bacon in a large skillet, with 1 TBS earth balance until crisped and a slightly darker red in color, about 5 minutes total on medium high heat. Remove from skillet, leaving EB behind, and set aside.
4. Add remaining Earth Balance to the same skillet you used to cook the smart bacon. Add a drop or three of liquid smoke, to help emulate bacon grease. Allow EB to melt and get hot over medium high heat.
5. Add corn and fry in hot EB for 1-2 minutes, mashing lightly with the back of a wooden spoon. Add soy milk, lower heat and simmer for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally until the corn is done.
6. Add salt and pepper to taste. Garnish with reserved bacon and serve.

Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole

Omni from Indiana Approved!

It tastes better than it looks

*  I feel the need to update this post slightly, since it was what inspired this blog, and perhaps if I explain why I made this, the blog will make more sense.

So, I went to Fubonn, my neighborhood Vietnamese emporium and bought a vegan ham tube and figured Paula Deen might be able to tell me what to do with it.  I stumbled upon her recipe for Cheesy Ham and Banana Casserole.  I had to make it, it sounded completely insane and yet oddly appealing.  So I veganized it, and I posted it in Food Porn on the PPK, the responses led me to believe that there may be a demand for a blog devoted to veganizing Paula Deen crap.  And here I am.  *

The original recipe http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/cheesy-ham-and-banana-casserole-recipe/ called for butter, ham, bacon, cheddar cheese, 4 eggs, milk, and cream. I used a combination of homemade and convenience items to replace these. Yes, I could have made tempeh bacon and seitan ham. I didn’t, I am trying to channel Paula here people, she’s no Julia Child.

The original recipe calls for 2 cups of crushed potato chips. I forgot to buy chips and it was raining, making a trip to the store for my least favorite snack food not likely. I don’t think the recipe needs em anyways.

What follows is my interpretation, which could still use a little tweaking regarding the replacement for 4 eggs and heavy cream:

Cheezy Ham Tube and Banana Casserole

Serves: 8-10

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and smear Earth Balance on a 9×13 inch container

• 12-14 slices bread, earth balance spread on both sides (I used a crusty sourdough)
• 1 pound ham tube, sliced into 1/4 inch rounds
• 4 bananas sliced on the bias
• Double batch of Bryanna Clark Grogan’s Melty Chedda Cheeze, from her book 20 Minutes to Dinner, or on her website http://www.bryannaclarkgrogan.com/page/page/661699.htm it is third from the bottom, scroll way down
• 6 slices of Smart Bacon, or other vegan equivalent, crisped up and crumbled
• 1 package firm silken tofu
• 2 cups unsweetened soy milk
• 2 cups crushed potato chips (optional)
• Nutmeg
• Salt
• Pepper

1. Place silken tofu, soymilk, a healthy dose of ground nutmeg, pepper, and just a pinch of salt into blender and blend until creamy, set aside.
2. Prepare cheeze sauce according to directions, set aside.
3. Place one half of the bread on the bottom of the baking dish, in a single even layer.
4. Place all of the ham tube in a single layer on top of the bread.
5. Place all of the banana on top of the ham tub in a single layer.
6. Place remaining bread on top of the banana in a single layer.
7. Pour tofu and soymilk mixture on top of bread/banana/ham until it just reaches the top.
8. Pour cheese sauce on top.
9. Top with crumbled Smart Bacon.
10. Paula would also like you to crumble up 2 cups worth of potato chips and put them on top at this point, go ahead and do this now if you desire.

Place casserole in oven and bake about 40 minutes, until firm and lightly browned.

Let cool a few minutes before slicing and serving.

Nutritional Comparison for one serving:

Original Recipe:

• 675 Calories
• 44 grams of fat
• 17 grams of saturated fat

My Version

• 300 Calories
• 10 grams of fat
• 1.5 grams of saturated fat

Mission Statement

Y’all-I’m a vegan. I have a love hate relationship with Paula Deen. I will document my struggles with cognitive dissonance for anyone who wants to see. When possible, side by side nutritional values for her and my versions will be posted. I am not always the best at converting recipes, so if you have any pearls of wisdom, please share them. And yes, I take requests.

Mailing dogs is not vegan